Another year..

Feb 14th and the jury is out again. Every other newspaper running articles on their Anti-Valentine day propaganda. Again a case of sensational (daft) journalism? Affirmative.

I personally am quite happy to embrace this day whole-heartedly. As far as I am concerned, Valentine's Day is just a joyous occasion more than anything else. As with each occasion, an underlying motif is necessary and in this case, it happens to be a day of celebration for lovers. Note that i say 'a day of celebration' rather than 'the day of celebration'. This is because of lame counter-arguments floating around saying that true love needs no specific day for being expressed and all that. The answer to that is Yes, it doesn't. There is no one stopping anyone from expressing their love on any day/night. And there is no extra incentive for people to express that extra bit of love today. However, the point people are missing here is that the day is an Occasion. An occasion as relevant or irrelevant as say a day of fireworks, a day for eating pongal. As much as I love myself, why do I celebrate with people on a (meaningless) day when I was born?

The fact is that it is only human to seek that extra bit of motivation in any possible form to do something relevant. A fest in college needed a banner for people to take notice and rejoice. A festival of fireworks needs a name for people to light the colorful fireworks and rejoice. A motive behind an event is the sole reason for an individual to act. It is.

I am off to celebrate the day with my Valentine. Though it is my debut, I don't think I am fazed or distracted by the opinions around me.

Cheers on a good day!

There is no right or wrong, people just act according to their needs.

-Prof.Isak Borg (Wild Strawberries)

for the first time in my entire life, i realized anger is bad...
hoping that it is the last time i'd have to realize or re-realize...
thanks sunu...

lil' johhny did play....

he had just tried to sort out the code that was behaving wickedly with him.. both he and his boss tried to set it right.. however both knew that however hard they tried, it wasn't gonna happen that day.. it was just that sort of a day.. so a quick goodbye exchanged, he ambled down the stairs from the 8th to the ground.. and then out on to mg road to become a part of a flourishing culture.. a waitingatasignal cult.. he drove along mg road and on seeing the brigade road traffic signal tempting him with its green form, he clasped the accelerator and raised it outta anticipation.. he felt his cellphone vibrate in his pocket... ignoring it he moved ahead like a man on a mission...as he was close to the line of control, the hideous chameleon of a signal changed color and became red even without its customary intermediate orange... hands on brakes.. all might all bite used.. the bike stopped like an insane horse tranquillized mercilessly.. 150 seconds the count read.. damn it he said.. another sick journey laced with a million stops.. involuntarily his hands went to his pocket and he verified whether it was a life threatening call or message... it was a message... 'Dont forget to recharge!' it read.. hmmm, yeah he thought.... moments later, the signal changed color and twas time to step on the gas.. in a jiffy it was cubbon road... and then came the minsk square signal.. the air temperature suddenly dropped and without even the slightest warning it started pouring!! he could see few two wheelers getting scattered under trees and few other brave equipped ones donning the monsoon wear set for the battle ahead.. he had a choice.. on one hand twas his mother holding a ruler in her hand asking him to evacuate the road and move under a shelter.. on the other hand, was the accelerator all charged up waiting to be pounded... the next thing he could remember was that he was at the high point signal at the end of raj bhavan road a sole two wheeler sorrounded by mighty four wheelers.. dripping wet, head to toe.. the uneasy water drops seeping through fabric and causing that eerie chill as it touched the skin.. he removed his wrist watch and shoved it into his pocket and checked whether the cellphone was cosy.. it would manage to find a dry spot he thought and pulled his visor down and sped across the golf course at 65 kmph.. the rain was relentless and had reached a peak.. a peak which only seemed to be rising he felt.. through the visor all he could see was spots of light looking beautiful as it dispersed throgh the raindrops hitting his visor...one spot appeared abnormally huge and before he could analyze its size, he grabbed hold of his brake and just about managed to survive.. just about... abuses exchanged, he kept moving.. the rain kept throwing its kitchen sink at him and he kept piercing through it.. along came guttahalli and vyalikaval... as he approached sampige road.. he was a wet guy.. he threw his bike into the parking lot.. disembarked and went straight to the store and asked for a recharge card.. he was panting... incoherent... uninterested in talking.. mohan uncle at the shop was stunned and asked.. 'why dya want a recharge that badly in the rain man? you couldve taken it tomorrow right..' he gave mohan uncle a dry smirk, and replied.. 'give it to me fast uncle, my granny is waiting at home with rava idlis!'.. and then he disappeared into the crowd like the river into the sea... nothing official about it.. nothing factual either

"Speak out; Jus hope noone's listenin..."

Frustrated n hurt by all the filth, competition n greed around, the 'righteous' dude cribs bout his misfortunes and ill-luck which has been constantly devouring him throughout his life.. All that is left in him is a pair of vocal cords, the satanic half of the cerebrum, a pair of forelimbs tuned to typing crap and of course all those numerous senses using which the dude can only look at the fuckin shit around him.. He is the secret loser in the truest sense.. but all that we can do is get in sync with him and enjoy the blogs he composes.. So let us all say in unison..

"Mother Nature is a Whore!"

The felonious unitarian
Amen

AIM FOR THE MOON, GET STRANDED ON TOP OF A PALM TREE!!

Lookin back at the 4 years that have just slipped out of my hands into the 'never will come back' category, a guilt laden cloud erupts over me reminding me of all those ambitious proimises and aspirations that i had carried, on arriving at the doorstep of my college... each one of those remaining unfulfilled during this entire tenure defined by my sloth-like persona, an idle mind devoid of any ideas, abbysymal levels of enthusiasm and to top it all: a no-regret carefree attitude. Just the ideal recipe to engineer one of the strongest structures ever: 'THE GREAT WALL OF NOTHING'. The rain pouring over me pushes me into the window of introspection, the last thing i would wish to do after 4 years of misery. I begin looking for alibis which could save me in justifying this period of dormancy, the 'BLACK DEATH'. I put an easy blame on this blessed system, the curriculum, the numerous result oriented exams, the influence of peer, lack of inspirational figures,be it teachers or friends or any other dude.. But What I dont realize is that in doin so

I AM JUST TRYING TO SPIT AT THE MOON, IN TURN GETTING SPAT AT MYSELF!!

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

humming in the dark alleys of my ear, layne keeps conveying a subtle message that i haven't been able to understand.. it goes like this


Be what you wanna be, see what you wanna see
Been what you wanna be, I dont like what i see...
Like the coldest winter chill,
Heaven beside you and hell within...

what i really dont understand is that there was nothing called myself until now.. the figure called myself has to be constructed from the very atomic level and will only be defined based on what i will be sometime from now.. until now this word called myself has only been a plan, a template, an unseen set of routines which has been fed in with all the necessary ingredients or inputs just about ready to be pushed into the phase of execution.. all the so called efforts of the previous toil filled years are supposed to bear fruits now and things are supposed to fall into place from now.. or thats what people think..
The pundits believe that the human system is so analogous to a machine.. plan it meticulously from age 1 to 5, start analysing and designing the components from age 5 to 20, continuously keep testing the system by subjecting it to stress, and finally get it to be ready to solve some specific query by the age of 20 or so.. It is so taken for granted that once this stage is reached, all that matters is that the right data if input, positive and to a certain extent correct results are guaranteed... for the next 40 years, the machine is expected to motor along, if maintained by comforts like a healthy salary, a good fuck, delicious food, the odd booze and so on...
'Like a well oiled machine'..
An exception to this thumb rule is the machines called 'myself'.. this machine, like the others has been meticulously planned and the right components of geography, history, science, language, math, art, music, blah blah blah have been embedded, tested under some stressful conditions from which it has came out successfully with flying colours.. AGED 20 the machine is ready to be sent to the customer who has ordered for this masterpeice.. All according to plan, until one night the machine lyin idle in the factory suddenly starts using its own brain... until now it was all constructed by someone else's intellect but now this dormant brain, suddenly becomes active.. The brain inside myself, or anyone is considered by the designers as a massive threat.. but then, myself's designers made the mistake of not supressing it like how the others have been doin to countless other machines.. negligence on their part i must say.. and this was all that was needed for the prince inside to wake up.. with all the readymade food inside, a delicious meal was cooked in the brainkitchen.. the whole system inside was ruptured and a new state of the art monument was beginning to be constructed.. and this took just some few months or just days..
It is no longer the puristic machine.. just a complicated screwed up non deterministic infinite automaton, as you can see typing things noone else would give a thought to...

HEAVEN BESIDE ME AND HELL WITHIN, I very well know!!

PANACEA...or...Wishful Thinking??

Project eval, Sucking mess, Sessionals, Attendance, First hours, no-hopers, Kutching, Orkut, Loneliness, crowded me, idle mind, porn movies, self defence, expense, xerox, dons around, Ragda, Richie rich, bitchy bitch, coders, ppts, last bench, aptis, Gunners lose, pop music, Reliance dialup, KC, net stop server, LIFE SUCKS!

It couldnt just get better.. A road that fate had generously laid out for me was inviting me to trudge along like a weary loser.. And I obliged.. Despite having a chance to detour at any point of time, i was uninterested and content on leading an unmeaningful existence.. I am no different from a sloth.. Barely managing to walk on the path of time not realizing that each step is one closer to the end of my life.. 'The time Axis' as mathematicians would say, was a red carpet for me.. With every quantum of time passing by, I left behind no legacy, just mere dusty footmarks which just signified that 'i was there!'.. Or rather 'I too was there!'.. My eyes are bleeding, my hopes misleading..The spirit is just fading away.. I was embossed on a stone of mediocrity.. A no hoper I was.. All i am looking for is a goddamn panacea, a cure for this disease..
Maybe I may... Maybe I will


"Trapped in a lonely body,
I’m losin' control
can't show my emotions and
I’m losing my soul
could it be that I’m obsessed with feeding my disease
I couldn't make it know that hidden things that no one sees

Yeah loser I’m a secret loser loser I’m a secret loser

Fighting a losing battle
pretending to win
repenting to holy unknowns
pretending to sin
all I do is hide the wounds where blood just won't congeal
couldn't ever take my soul 'cos isn't there to steal

Yeah loser I’m a secret loser loser I’m a secret loser

Though I’m the loser there is no winner there's nothing left to win
the hidden reasons now in deletion are lost in sin
so heed my warning the time is dawning I’ll tell you here's the twist the truth is lying below the surface I don't exist

Loser I’m a secret loser loser I’m a secret loser

Seeing is not believing
it don't mean a thing
although it appears to be
that the loser is king
i can understand that what you see you think
is real but underneath the surface is a wound that cannot heal

Yeah loser I’m a secret loser loser I’m a secret loser loser
I’m a secret loser loser I’m a secret loser loser I’m a secret loser"

-OZZY

SOLTITUDE: THE PRECIPIPE TO TRANQUILITY

A humid evening and a stifled atmosphere.. fifteen or so filthy maggots devouring on some leftovers and constantly buzzing an annoying tone in my ears.. the stuff i could comprehend but did not want to.. All that these maggots believed in, was that if they did find someone who dint give a fuck regarding their existence, it was that guy whom they will attack and irritate.. little did the brainless, puny nicompoops realise that after all they were just scrawny, sick maggots after all who could all be squashed into pulp by one mere swat..call it ignorance or irony of mother nature!! who says ignorance is bliss.. unfaffected by them i was riding on a surreal dream of soltitude,so much above these petty tangible objects around me.. i was reminded of a moment of true devine charm when i was over the highest peak in kudremukh called 'Gangdikal'.. the air was so true, the feeling so sweet, the satisfaction so immense and the thoughts so pure

" So many things I think about
When I look far away
Things I know -- things I wonder
Things I'd like to say
The more we think we know about
The greater the unknown
We suspend our disbelief
And we are not alone --

Mystic rhythms -- capture my thoughts
And carry them away
Mysteries of night escape the light of day
Mystic rhythms -- under northern lights
Primitive things stir
The hearts of everyone

We sometimes catch a window
A glimpse of what's beyond

Was it just imagination
Stringing us along?
More things than are dreamed about
Unseen and unexplained
We suspend our disbelief
And we are entertained

Mystic rhythms -- capture my thoughts
And carry them away
Nature seems to spin
A supernatural way
Mystic rhythms -- under city lights
Or a canopy of stars
We feel the powers and we wonder what they are
We feel the push and pull of restless rhythms from afar "

--Neil Peart(RUSH)

we had conquered the ardurous test..the trecherous terrain had been so unforgiving.. and yet we felt that mother nature was laughing at us just like how momma was smiling at us when we jumped in glee on getting an A+ grade in kindergarten.. i could see noone among everyone around me..It was a void in me that was so complete..The mother of all paradoxes of existence.. All i could see was the picture perfect serene wilderness around me.Thewhole void of soltitude inside me was being filled by the endless sea of tranquility.. it was just a plain old beautiful sunset but it caused such a power packed change in me that for sometime I felt like God.. I "was" God..so strong was this change induced in me that the realization dawned in me that soltitude is not as what people think: Being alone.. It is that devine void in oneself that can only be filled by tranquility.. it is that state wherin one is liberated from tangible feeling and appreciation.. No, i could not touch the mist around, nor could i touch the dusky sun rays, the intoxicating breeze blowing or anything of that sort.. i had plunged deep into eternity.. the point of no return.. It seemed to span like centuries.. The moment.. I had lived it.. I had graduated to another level that only a few chosen ones have been to attain..I wanted to be in this state.. I had once called it loneliness but I now laugh cos i realize:

I had become comfortably numb
.. god bless Floyd for that devine song

ME AND MY MIND.. THe BEST COMPANIONS THERE CAN EVER BE..

I pity those who laugh at this thought.. God bless you
Amen